Lazy Blogger Takes Vacation

Lazy, do-nothing, blogger of suspect personal hygeine, Damon Scheffer, has decided to go on vacation.
"I'm pooped," said Mr. Scheffer, sprawled out on a couch, rubbing his hairy beer-belly. "Fuckin' exhausted."
Mr. Scheffer strains his arm to reach his beer, pauses, cachtes his breath, then tries again. "Why did I put that beer all the way over there," he asks.
"You know I have to get up, straighten my clothes, walk all the way over to the computer, think of something funny then write it and possibly spell check it depending on my mood ... it's not as easy a life as some people would think."
Mr. Scheffer's legion of adoring fans held a rally outside his house to protest the move.
"What a lazy bastard," said Norma Flugue of BlueFalls, Texas. "I've been standing here, walking my feet raw in protest fot hours. He hasn't moved from the couch. Not even to go to the bathroom. I've got a bet going he's wearing adult diapers."
Mr. Scheffer laughs at the idea when told of the protestors bet. "I've tripled my productivity since I took to wearin' the adult diapers. I used to be in there for hours."
Mr. Scheffer says he plans to return to blogging "sometime."