Candian Tire Couple To Divocrce
The Canadian Tire Couple, Canada’s most recognizable celebrity couple, are divorcing sighting irreconcilable differences.
Canadian Tire Guy and Canadian Tire Girl have for years been showing up their neighbours' while alerting the nation to the handy, practically priced hardwares available at retailer Canadian Tire.
“It’s been getting harder and harder ot paper over our differences,” said Canadian Tire Girl. “Even if the Mastercraft two-in-one wall paper applicator/DVD player were to somehow work on an emotional level ... on sale now just $129.99.”
Canadian Tire Girl paused, as if waiting for Canadian Tire Guy to ask her if the DVD player would skip. She wiped a tear away from her eyes and continued.
“A thirty second delay means you wont miss a second and the hardened plastic case prevents damage.” Canadian Tire Girl then burst into tears.
“We only stayed together this long for the kids,” said Canadian Tire Guy while showing his neighbour that his non-Mastercraft pressure sprayer was inferior to his Mastercraft Sprayer(on sale now, only $99.99) because of the built in compass and portable solar panel. “There was that time I was showing my neighbour how my Mastercraft solar-powered hedge trimmer/lemonade maker was superior to his hedge trimmer - and thereby insinuating I had a bigger cock than he did - that Canadian Tire Girl came along took the glass of Lemonade I’d made, made a funny little comment, and walked off. On camera i couldn’t say too much but fuck i was steamed. I was god damned thirsty.”
“He could have easily made another glass. The Canadian Tire hedge-trimmer/lemonade maker makes 4-6 glasses at a time. And the built in timer lets you know when the lemonade is ready to serve. Great for those hot days in the garden. Only 34.99 after manufactures rebate. But it was never about the lemonade. He was just looking for an out.”
Canadian Tire Guy has been rumoured to be dating the Rona Girl.
Canadian Tire Guy and Canadian Tire Girl have for years been showing up their neighbours' while alerting the nation to the handy, practically priced hardwares available at retailer Canadian Tire.
“It’s been getting harder and harder ot paper over our differences,” said Canadian Tire Girl. “Even if the Mastercraft two-in-one wall paper applicator/DVD player were to somehow work on an emotional level ... on sale now just $129.99.”
Canadian Tire Girl paused, as if waiting for Canadian Tire Guy to ask her if the DVD player would skip. She wiped a tear away from her eyes and continued.
“A thirty second delay means you wont miss a second and the hardened plastic case prevents damage.” Canadian Tire Girl then burst into tears.
“We only stayed together this long for the kids,” said Canadian Tire Guy while showing his neighbour that his non-Mastercraft pressure sprayer was inferior to his Mastercraft Sprayer(on sale now, only $99.99) because of the built in compass and portable solar panel. “There was that time I was showing my neighbour how my Mastercraft solar-powered hedge trimmer/lemonade maker was superior to his hedge trimmer - and thereby insinuating I had a bigger cock than he did - that Canadian Tire Girl came along took the glass of Lemonade I’d made, made a funny little comment, and walked off. On camera i couldn’t say too much but fuck i was steamed. I was god damned thirsty.”
“He could have easily made another glass. The Canadian Tire hedge-trimmer/lemonade maker makes 4-6 glasses at a time. And the built in timer lets you know when the lemonade is ready to serve. Great for those hot days in the garden. Only 34.99 after manufactures rebate. But it was never about the lemonade. He was just looking for an out.”
Canadian Tire Guy has been rumoured to be dating the Rona Girl.
posted by Soft Headed Liberal at 11:46 AM
2 Comments:
Dude,
Your spelling should be illegal. How can I enjoy the obviously hillarious retoric if I have to stop and figure out what you are really trying to say?
starring???? do you do that with 2 i-plural?
concerned in the TDOT
Dude,
he's had about four different wives before this one...didn't you ever see the older commercials???
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