French Terror Cell Attacks Toronto With Whimsy, Giraffes
Toronto’s Street Festival became a festival of annoyance and rage Friday evening when French Terrorist unleashed a merciless barrage of whimsy on an unsuspecting crowd.
The crowd had gathered to see local heroes Broken Social Scene and celebrate Canadians longest street, Yonge Street , immortalized in the film Going Down The Road, when the French terror cell unleashed several 8 meter high pink giraffes on the unsuspecting and till that point un-annoyed crowd. The giraffes, operated by French stilt-walkers trained in the fields of Afghanistan, where part of a grander “Urban Operetta” mission. Experts say “whimsy-terror” is fast becoming the new modus operandi for many terror groups.
“At first I thought it was kinda cool, ya know,” said Marilyn Hassensomethingorother, tearing her shirt into strips and weaving the strips into a noose. “But it just kept going and going. They wouldn’t stop.”
According to witnesses the giraffes were being driven slowly up Yonge Street by “a fat, gay clown” and an “even fatter chick” singing opera whimsically to one another. They smiled a lot and tempted people to nurture the child within. As the time for the Broken Social Scene set grew near, the “Urban Operetta” seemed to draw to a close only to have the music start up again. This happened several times, witnesses said. Other said the pair appeared to be courting one another through whimsical song while being pushed along the street by whimsically dressed “elves”.
Impatience within the crowd was growing. The BSS show was already delayed 15 minutes when the cell leaders were raised on a dias and yelled whimsical, French verbal bombs into the crowd. The “fat one” then appeared to perform mock cunilingus on the female. The giraffes had by then been driven into the crowd. It was a sea of crossed arms and frowny faces. The two “performers” then entered into some godless marriage and exploded a bomb of coloured paper in celebration. Several run over toes were reported.
“They were French and driving giant pink giraffes up the street dressed like Circe Du Soleil”, said Suzanne Beyonce JLo Spears mmmsucks, frantically trying to puncture her eardrums. “ I can still hear their endless, whimsical songs.”
Marcel Marceau is creditted as the first "whimsy terrorist".
“Sounds like standard PSY-OPS to me” said retired terrorism expert Bert Bertman. “We had ten foot kangaroos and whimsical Frenchmen at Abu Ghraib and Guantanimo. The prisoners all released their bowels in unison during the openning ten minutes of the "sun dance". But that whimsy was released in a controlled environment. What kind of lunatic would release whimsy on those levels of on a uncontrolled crowd? Monsters. Bloody monsters”
Expert say attacks like this can really "bug the shit out of people".
The crowd had gathered to see local heroes Broken Social Scene and celebrate Canadians longest street, Yonge Street , immortalized in the film Going Down The Road, when the French terror cell unleashed several 8 meter high pink giraffes on the unsuspecting and till that point un-annoyed crowd. The giraffes, operated by French stilt-walkers trained in the fields of Afghanistan, where part of a grander “Urban Operetta” mission. Experts say “whimsy-terror” is fast becoming the new modus operandi for many terror groups.
“At first I thought it was kinda cool, ya know,” said Marilyn Hassensomethingorother, tearing her shirt into strips and weaving the strips into a noose. “But it just kept going and going. They wouldn’t stop.”
According to witnesses the giraffes were being driven slowly up Yonge Street by “a fat, gay clown” and an “even fatter chick” singing opera whimsically to one another. They smiled a lot and tempted people to nurture the child within. As the time for the Broken Social Scene set grew near, the “Urban Operetta” seemed to draw to a close only to have the music start up again. This happened several times, witnesses said. Other said the pair appeared to be courting one another through whimsical song while being pushed along the street by whimsically dressed “elves”.
Impatience within the crowd was growing. The BSS show was already delayed 15 minutes when the cell leaders were raised on a dias and yelled whimsical, French verbal bombs into the crowd. The “fat one” then appeared to perform mock cunilingus on the female. The giraffes had by then been driven into the crowd. It was a sea of crossed arms and frowny faces. The two “performers” then entered into some godless marriage and exploded a bomb of coloured paper in celebration. Several run over toes were reported.
“They were French and driving giant pink giraffes up the street dressed like Circe Du Soleil”, said Suzanne Beyonce JLo Spears mmmsucks, frantically trying to puncture her eardrums. “ I can still hear their endless, whimsical songs.”
Marcel Marceau is creditted as the first "whimsy terrorist".
“Sounds like standard PSY-OPS to me” said retired terrorism expert Bert Bertman. “We had ten foot kangaroos and whimsical Frenchmen at Abu Ghraib and Guantanimo. The prisoners all released their bowels in unison during the openning ten minutes of the "sun dance". But that whimsy was released in a controlled environment. What kind of lunatic would release whimsy on those levels of on a uncontrolled crowd? Monsters. Bloody monsters”
Expert say attacks like this can really "bug the shit out of people".
posted by Soft Headed Liberal at 1:13 AM
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