Jackson Acquitted and Given New Title
Breaking News: Michael Jackson Verdict
Michael Jackson has not only been acquitted of molesting young boys, he’s been given a new title to add to the King of Pop. State of California Official Masturbator of Young Men.
Michael Jackson is now free to give the reach around to whomever he likes. He is also permitted to administer “Rusty Trombones” and something called a “Sampler”.
“This is great opportunity for our young men to learn proper masturbating techniques from a master,” said State Representative Nancy Young. "No more beating themselves senseless." Along with the new title comes a lifetime supply of KY Jelly and Kleenex. He has also been given a pyjama allowance and had his face sprayed with weatherproofing to keep out moisture and prevent rot.
More to come.
Michael Jackson has not only been acquitted of molesting young boys, he’s been given a new title to add to the King of Pop. State of California Official Masturbator of Young Men.
Michael Jackson is now free to give the reach around to whomever he likes. He is also permitted to administer “Rusty Trombones” and something called a “Sampler”.
“This is great opportunity for our young men to learn proper masturbating techniques from a master,” said State Representative Nancy Young. "No more beating themselves senseless." Along with the new title comes a lifetime supply of KY Jelly and Kleenex. He has also been given a pyjama allowance and had his face sprayed with weatherproofing to keep out moisture and prevent rot.
More to come.
posted by Soft Headed Liberal at 4:02 PM
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