Operation Allows Anne Coulter To See
Right wing pundit Anne Coulter has undergone an operation that allows her to finally see where she's going.
"I can now see who I'm screeching at, " screeched Coulter at a recent news conference. Coulter had her nipples removed and replace by looking glass.
"I've had my head up my own ass for so long ... this is a relief", said Coulter. This operation was followed quickly by another operation to have a speaker set in her stomach.
Coulter's head began creeping up her ass a few years ago but it wasn't till the tragic events of 9/11 that her head's ass trajectory began to hasten.
"The volume of lefty, liberal, commie, hippy clap trap I was hearing - well what I could hear of it over the superior reporting of Fox News, CNN, Time, CBS,ABC, NBC, and most major newspapers ... well what I did hear was enough. My head just completely disappeared!"
Doctors said the reaction was due to Ms Coulter's allergic reaction to facts, or "lefty liberal lies" as Ms Coulter describes them.
"In some ways it wasn't so bad", she said while christening a baby girl she ripped from the arms of a Muslim woman a few minutes earlier. " I couldn't hear a thing in there. No more liberal bias. It was heaven, in some ways."
But in others ways it wasn't, she said. She was constantly bumping into things. And she missed reading the invective-inspiring writings of her colleagues.
"I really missed Rush's blog," she confessed. "And Bill's. You know on his website there's a picture him strangling a squirrel? It's quite beautiful."
Ms. Coulters first trip post operation was to the grave of one of her heroes, Joseph McCarthy.
"Christ all mighty he gave those commie homos what for, didn't he?" Ms. Coulters nipple lenses fog up at this point and she goes silent, but just for a moment as she suffers from an inability to keep her mouth closed, even when it's buried deep inside her sternum. "I wish he were still around. I'd set him lose on those Canadian turn coats. What sort of ally are they when they refuse to blindly follow America, guns blazing, brains set on zombie, into whatever country whose oil we need for survival?"
A male assistant dutifully wiped her nipple lens clean. Ms Coulter then cupped the male assistant's balls and ended the interview.
Anne Coulter, seen here in happier times before her ass swallowed her head.
"I can now see who I'm screeching at, " screeched Coulter at a recent news conference. Coulter had her nipples removed and replace by looking glass.
"I've had my head up my own ass for so long ... this is a relief", said Coulter. This operation was followed quickly by another operation to have a speaker set in her stomach.
Coulter's head began creeping up her ass a few years ago but it wasn't till the tragic events of 9/11 that her head's ass trajectory began to hasten.
"The volume of lefty, liberal, commie, hippy clap trap I was hearing - well what I could hear of it over the superior reporting of Fox News, CNN, Time, CBS,ABC, NBC, and most major newspapers ... well what I did hear was enough. My head just completely disappeared!"
Doctors said the reaction was due to Ms Coulter's allergic reaction to facts, or "lefty liberal lies" as Ms Coulter describes them.
"In some ways it wasn't so bad", she said while christening a baby girl she ripped from the arms of a Muslim woman a few minutes earlier. " I couldn't hear a thing in there. No more liberal bias. It was heaven, in some ways."
But in others ways it wasn't, she said. She was constantly bumping into things. And she missed reading the invective-inspiring writings of her colleagues.
"I really missed Rush's blog," she confessed. "And Bill's. You know on his website there's a picture him strangling a squirrel? It's quite beautiful."
Ms. Coulters first trip post operation was to the grave of one of her heroes, Joseph McCarthy.
"Christ all mighty he gave those commie homos what for, didn't he?" Ms. Coulters nipple lenses fog up at this point and she goes silent, but just for a moment as she suffers from an inability to keep her mouth closed, even when it's buried deep inside her sternum. "I wish he were still around. I'd set him lose on those Canadian turn coats. What sort of ally are they when they refuse to blindly follow America, guns blazing, brains set on zombie, into whatever country whose oil we need for survival?"
A male assistant dutifully wiped her nipple lens clean. Ms Coulter then cupped the male assistant's balls and ended the interview.
Anne Coulter, seen here in happier times before her ass swallowed her head.
posted by Soft Headed Liberal at 12:15 PM
3 Comments:
Hey, you changed the title of this post. I liked the other one better. Please write more about Dr. Who. Signed, a fan.
hmmmm....a speaker in her stomach....interesting.
Where can I get me some of them nipple lenses?
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