Suicide Bomber Trips Himself Up

Startled Squirrels Love Nuts,
originally uploaded by Bergkamp13.

An untied shoe is all that kept suicide bomber Khalid from an eternity with 72 virgins.
“I feel so stupid,” said Khalid from the icy, black, weightless void where he will spend eternity, instead of the heavenly paradise with the implied de-virgining, that he had envisioned.
Khalid had trained for weeks for his mission, detonating himself in front of a local Egyptian MacDonald’s.
“MacDonald’s is a symbol of Western imperialist godlessness. And I asked for no onions on my double quarter-pounder and guess what. I got onions.”
Khalid had stuffed his blue adidas zip up with explosives and stuffed the detonator in his Levi 501’s but he forgot to tie one of his Nike Air Jordan’s and tripped on his way to the restaurant. He tripped, setting off the bomb.
“I fell and the bomb went off. I thought I’d get to kill a bunch of onion loving, Egyptian workers slaving away for peanuts to feed their families and possibly a few westerners. All I did was startle a few squirrels.”