Sorry Ladies, But Mr. Bitter is Officially Off The Market

To all you young ladies out there hoping to one day sample a bit of my luvin', I've got some bad news. Missus Sour and I, in a bid to silence some of the nasty rumours out there, have made it official. We're getting married. November 11, in fact.
The whisper campaign started by some of my political enemies, mostly those who are running against me for leadership of the federal Liberal Party, have insinuated that Missus Sour and I living in sin was a sign of my moral laxity and questionable faith. So we decided to put a stop to these rumours and accusations and get married. In an actual Catholic Church of all places. That should stop the rumours and pave my way to victory in the leadership contest. That, and I love the woman like crazy and find myself more in love with her every day.